A few days ago, a friend told me she had suddenly started missing her first love. She kept feeling she owed him something and wanted to know how he was doing and talk to him, but was afraid of disturbing him.

Eventually, she worked up the courage to add him as a contact and they exchanged a few words. After deleting each other, however, she grew more worried the more she thought about it. She felt that his life was too hard and that she could do nothing to help.

I told her she was wearing herself out far too much. She should follow her heart, say whatever she wanted to say, and leave it at that. Because most obsessions and worries, if you treat them as a fart, really do become a fart.

Of course, what I said was also so much hot air. Everyone understands the reasoning, but in the situation itself, you simply cannot control your feelings.

People always worry about things they do not fully understand or cannot predict, and cling to things they regret or cannot obtain. Everyone has their dreaded days, unresolved hurts, and idealized lost loves. This is all human nature.

My greatest worry as a child was not finishing my homework and getting scolded by the teacher. Being singled out for criticism in front of the class felt like the sky was falling. Looking back now, these were the smallest of small matters.

Later, I liked a girl and poured a great deal of effort into it, only for it to come to nothing. At the time, my heart felt as though it were being cut by a knife. I lost all appetite and felt my life could not have been a greater failure. But now I can recall these events quite calmly.

When I was younger, I cared deeply about what other people thought: praise made me happy and criticism made me dejected. Now other people's judgments have very little effect on my mood. First, I have developed my own standards, so I can remain "neither elated by external things nor saddened by personal misfortune." Second, I have realized that praise and criticism do not necessarily reveal someone's attitude toward you: praise may mean approval or flattery, and criticism may reflect a wish for you to improve or a desire to manipulate your emotions. Besides, being disliked is perfectly normal. Nobody can satisfy everyone. As the saying goes, "The village worthy is a thief of virtue." Being liked by everyone is not a good thing either.

With more life experience and more reading of history, you become aware of your own smallness and discover that your worries and obsessions amount to very little in the long river of history and among the countless lives of humanity.

Obsessions and worries can sometimes be good things. But when they seriously affect your life, you must treat them as a fart. And because these obsessions and worries were never important to begin with, treating them as a fart really does turn them into one.

This is how I comfort myself when I run into emotional difficulties. So I think I am still fairly far from mental illness, at least two thousand kilometers away. This is not Ah Q's habit of declaring spiritual victories; it is a defense mechanism modern people use to maintain their mental health.

Still, perhaps my friend simply wanted to get things off her chest and felt fine once she had done so.

It does not matter. I hope everyone can move beyond unhealthy worries and obsessions and focus on the present.